Why do we do it???

THERE ARE certain things that simply do not go together - oil and water ..... a square peg in a round hole ..... and in my opinion, camping in the UK.

A couple of weeks ago, we packed up our trailer tent and headed off to Pembrokeshire for a four night camping break. After working up a bit of a sweat putting up our temporary home on wheels, the shorts came out. Wearing them, however, was shortlived. The more-than-refreshing sea breeze got a little full of itself at times and I spent the four days, and most of the nights, securely attached to my onion-like outfits.

First to go on each and every morning was my fuchsia pink bikini (ever the optimist), then a vest, then a T-shirt, then a sweatshirt, topped with a fleece, finishing up with an anorak. Oh joy!

All I could think of was friends in foreign places .... sitting on beaches in the far flung corners of the world with a book in one hand and a Strawberry Daiquiri in the other. And here was I, washed up on a semi-deserted beach with just a windbreaker and an unused bottle of sun lotion for company.

This weekend, thinking that lightning never strikes twice among the camping fraternity, we teamed up with some good friends and hit the A-roads to Abersoch. The journey was a lot less painful than the tedious 5-hour one to Pembrokeshire the week previous and it was dry when we pitched up. Bliss.

By 4pm, we were all ready to raid the fridge - a washing up bowl full of cold water - the boys hit the beer and us girls settled for a plastic wine glass full to the brim of the sparkly white stuff. Out came the disposable barbecues and tea was cooked under a sun brolly. Not to protect us all from harmful UV rays, but rather the inclement weather that had come to visit. I find rainwater on my rib-eye a real treat sometimes.

During the night, the winds whooped themselves up into a right frenzy and battered most of the tents on the site. I spent most of the night with my fingers in my ears and building up an image of Farmer Bryn Bach who, too, was probably awake like the rest of us. Only as we were rubbing our hands together to keep warm, he was probably rubbing his with glee as he glanced out of his cosy farmhouse bedroom window to check out the view. His new 'flock' who had earlier that day paid up to rent a plot from him were out there, in the dead of the night, fighting tooth and nail to keep the canvas over their heads!

The next morning, we all compared notes with how much damage was sustained. We came off unscathed but I felt guilty as hell after hearing our friends had been up most of the night holding their tent together after some of the poles had snapped.

We hit the beach on Sunday and unlike my Pembrokeshire visit, I managed to get by with just four layers, one of which was a borrowed wind-busting wetsuit. After the children had had a good old muck around in the sand, we headed back to base to freshen up before going into the town for some tea. It's a strange one this ... but no-one in Abersoch actually eats til gone 6pm! We traipsed up hill and down dirt tracks looking for an eaterie only to be sent away with our four hungry children. If anyone reading this is considering a new business venture, set up a family-friendly all-day restaurant in Abersoch and you'll be quids in by the end of the year.

I am, for now, all camped out. I have packed away my washing up bowl and my cool bag and my super deluxe sleeping bag ... and have demanded we book some winter sun. The only time I was warm on these breaks was when I was elbow-deep in Fairy Liquid at the communal sink. I have NEVER looked forward to washing up so much ....!

These bones of mine need some serious sunshine on them ... serious sunshine that I'm just not finding here in my home land.