The day I've been dreading

TODAY WAS monumental ... for dropping through my letterbox was an invitation to join the ranks of the Reader's Digest.

I well remember my dad signing up as a fully paid up member of the publication many moons ago when I was just a wee ankle-biter. And how he looked forward to the little cellophane wrapped book dropping onto the doormat.

My heart sank though when I was invited to join the association this week. I took it personally, as an insult, I'm simply not old enough to be interested in the articles from what has been considered the 'wrinkly's monthly handbook'. Or am I??

I was given six chances to bank upto £250,000, told I could win a brand new car provided my peel-off 'key' unlocked the secret code and would receive special deals if I ordered books entitled "How to Clean Just About Anything," "Extraordinary Uses for Ordinary Things" or even "Discover Amazing New Ways to Use the Stuff You Already Have ...." I was intrigued as ever with this latter item so I read on.

I mean .... did you know the countless advantages of salt? Around the house, it can make brooms last longer, make fireplace cleaning easier and you can even make your own scented air freshener with it. In the kitchen, it can wipe up spilled eggs fast, restore the sparkle to teapot spouts and remove stubborn lipstick marks from glasses.

Call me modern but if my broom wears down, I buy another from the supermarket. I don't have a fireplace to scrub and I get my air fresheners courtesy of Airwick. On the very rare occasion of me getting up, close and personal with a box of eggs, a dishcloth is always waiting in the wings, the only teapot I have is an antique one for decorative use only and any lipstick left on my glasses is removed adequately by the Zanussi in the corner.

But jokes aside, there is a whole world of ingenious solutions that can make life easier for the thrifty. Now, I'm off to put in my subscription as I'm desperate to find out how to use cardboard tubes to keep my trousers wrinkle-free and why I should be taking a tub of car wax into the shower with me .....