How do you like your eggs in the morning?

THIS MORNING, for breakfast, I fancied a poached egg. Simple as that.

After investing in a couple of those fancy devices that provide a foolproof road to the land of perfect poachiness, I decided to get cracking, literally.
You know the type of contraption I'm on about, those nice and shiny silver things that grace the pages of those magazines that drop through your letterbox ... pictured alongside all the other useless bits of tat that clog up your cutlery drawers and are of no sound use to man nor beast.

Okay, so sad as it may seem, I've always longed to gain the know-how on how to turn out a swanky-hotel-style egg ... even the ones you get in the Little Chef knock spots off mine.I set to work after 10 minutes studying the packaging. This was shortlived as my Masterchef husband turned up to show me "how it's really done".

Casting aside any instructions, he got the pan of water to boiling point and the time had come for the grand egg dropping ... In it went, and, out it went - straight through the contraption's perforated bottom. "Hmmm, needs to be IN the water I think." he muttered as I shadowed him rolling my eyes like a disapproving school ma'am.

In went another ..... and another, until he threw the towel in with a light peppering of obscenities on how much money I spend on rubbish. He doesn't say that when I'm spending my hard earned cash on golf equipment for him though!!

Determined to dish out a breakfast to die for, I took over. Away were flushed the contents of the pan, that incidentally had more egg than water, and it was back to square one.
Now, I'm not going to go into any great detail here, because I'm starting to bore myself never mind you lot .... but yup, even with different tactics and a more determined constitution, it still spelled out disaster. "So what happened to the eggs-pert then??" he whispered in my shell-like after creeping up on me to check on my stubborn progress. Oh, how I could see that one coming......

So if anyone can take on the challenge to be my 'poach-coach', bring it on .....