Mand About The House

TODAY, I am cleansed. Cleansed from all the skeletons in my closet .... well, all the junk from my front porch more like.

I finished work for a kid-free week off and set mental aims to tackle all those niggly little tasks like changing the light bulbs on the landing, re-polishing my toenails and tackling the pile of ironing that would put Mount Vesuvius in the shade. Day two into my holidays, I admit that none of these have yet been accomplished, but the week is still in its infancy.

I feel justifiably proud of myself that what I DID manage to get under my belt today was clearing out my now relatively empty porch. Over the past 12 months, anything and everything that we no longer had a use for was banished to the dark and murky depths of this obsolete part of the house - clothes the kids had grown out of, clothes I had ordered while obviously under the influence and clothes that my husband had gone out and bought for himself .... without me standing guard outside the changing room, tugging back the curtain and checking out the view from over the top of my glasses, shaking my head while thumbing through my address book for Trinny and Susannah's mobile number.

Gone too are all those "Ooh, do you want this, it would go lovely in your house" ornaments that you simply can't stand but don't have the heart to reject?? They were all bagged up and I filled my car three times over, setting off in search of the nearest charitable cause. In the shop, their eyes were like saucers when I turned up to offload my trash. It was like watching an episode of "I'm a Celebrity ...." you know, that bit when the TV crew drops the day's food into the jungle camp for the starving stars.

Eyes agog and mouths ajar, the shoppers obviously wanted to hang around and see what they could rummage amongst. I really wanted to tell them that I'd kept all the family heirlooms in readiness for a guest appearance on the Antiques Roadshow and any small items of designer gear, but that would have simply spoilt it for them.

So, I can now return to my real Virgo self .... as a whole, we are reputed to be "hard working, neat and tidy perfectionists, carrying out duties efficiently and conscientiously." Neat and tidy??? Has anyone seen my desk ..... or my dressing room ..... or behind my settees?

My yin and yang are now at peace with eachother and my chakras have been re-balanced.Whatever will I tackle tomorrow? ... Bring on the fuchsia pink paint (only for my toenails, of course!)